I shared a personal reflection on TikTok recently about asking for – or admitting that you need – help.
In particular, I was sharing about how these things often exist outside of my comfort zone.
I think we (collectively) agree that asking for help should be okay. We encourage it. Teamwork and all that.
We applaud people’s bravery when they admit they’re struggling and do make that ask for help.
But – why do people need to be brave for this?
It’s because asking for help is still kinda shamed in society.
To be clear: It shouldn’t be.
But it is. We each feel it at the individual level (hence why asking for help feels hard, and why this is such a common experience).
Asking vs needing
Asking for help is one thing, but what makes it so hard?
➡️ In my own recent experience, the difficulty came from the idea that I needed help in the first place 🫣.
The messages we’re conditioned with in (North American) society seem to add up to this: “Of course ask for help if you need it…but you really shouldn’t need it.”
For me, admitting I needed help meant admitting that:
-
- I couldn’t do it on my own
- I’m not good enough
- I’m failing
- Everyone was right that it wouldn’t work out
- I’m not doing enough
- I’m not working hard enough
- There’s something wrong with me if I can’t do it and others can
And THOSE beliefs felt comfortable. I was used to believing them (*ahem* comfort zones are not always PLEASANT).
Releasing those ideas meant expanding into a new way of thinking and being – expanding into a more spacious comfort zone in which asking for and needing help is completely OKAY.
Testing assumptions and beliefs through self-observation
Ultimately, your current reality is based on the beliefs you’ve held up until this point.
For me, I could not receive help if I believed that needing it meant a was a failure – so I stayed stuck, not getting the help I wanted and needed.
Having a regular practice of self-observation and reflection is what has helped me have so many mindset breakthroughs recently, including this one.
My self-portrait practice has been foundational for this. The big breakthroughs don’t always come during a session, but the fact that I regularly take time for this embodied self-reflection means that it’s a habitual part of my life now.
I credit this practice with soooo much if my own growth and expansion over the past two years.
Curious how it can work for you, too?
Book a coffee chat here to talk more.
